B's SpAcE

Must Read... 23 -30 is not a nice age ....

2012-01-25T20:50:00.000+05:30

Those who are below this....V.lucky ones..

Those who have crossed this.. God help.

And those who are passing it... Dhinka chinka dhinka chika.. "Aali re aali tujhi baari aali" J

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23 -30 is not a nice age ....

your ex-crushes are getting married , Your career has just started, Elders treat you as unproven theorems, College student feel that you are too old to have in there group...

You seem to enjoy both cartoon and news. You can no longer eat whatever you wish without putting on weight. You are not invited for weekend cricket matches...

Every Aunty you meet ask "Shaadi ka.........b kar rahe ho beta!!"

while uncle asks "Career ka kya socha hai beta..."..

When the reality is that you are just riding the wave and going with the flow...

You have all the confidence in the world but little achievements to show, You already have the first hand experience of the life , You know that whatever you have been taught about the world in schools has been sheer waste of time. You can be denied a job even after passing the test and you could be given a job if you know someone placed high enough...

Politics till now was a dirty word but now you feel it everywhere...You know now love is not that blind and that friendship has its terms and conditions. .You know there is nothing for granted and free lunches are not free...

Your overconfidence is now making way for a humble conscience... You now know it is not exactly what we thought it would be...

Some info on beauty tips

2012-01-24T15:29:00.002+05:30

Addiction to beauty treatments will make you look worse than better. Pick your vice and read how to control the damage.

» REBONDING
Let’s put aside the fact that it’s plain ugly, rebonding is also highly damaging. The chemicals in the rebonding process alter the keratin structure of your hair. After such a drastic change, you need to wait for eight months or a year before rebonding the new growth. Do it any earlier and you risk applying the chemicals too close to your scalp and damaging it.
Also, rebonding needs to be cared for with shampoos and conditioners specifically made for it. Regular products are a lot more abrasive to the already weakened hair shaft, and often lead up to split ends.
If you prefer the neatness and fuss-free days provided by rebonded hair, try having only your crown, the upper layer of hair or your fringe rebonded. That way, you can still have a neat look without having to go for touch ups so often. While waiting for rebonded hair to grow out, keep snipping it off by way of layering cuts.

» EPILATION

Choose an epiliation method that suits you — waxing or shaving — and stick to it. Alternating between them will alter hair growth. Also, hair has togrow to an inch or more before you head to the salon for waxing. Anything less risks ingrowth and also forces the technician to exert more pull to yank it away, which will stretch your skin, making it sag. Waxing facial hair makes the delicate skin sag sooner.

» THREADING
Threading frequently, before the hair has had a chance to grow out enough, causes in-growth. Wait for hair to reach a length when it is visible; don’t head to the parlour just because you can ‘feel’ it. If you need to look groomed on short notice, wield a plucker instead.

» BLOW-DRY OR IRONING

Blasting your hair with heat every day is never a good idea. While blow drying or ironing, professionals pull the hair at a 90 degree angle to your head, closing the cuticles with the sweep of their brushes. At home, it is hard for one to hold the hair away from our own head, which damages the cuticles and also traps in the heat, which harms the hair shaft. While blow-drying or ironing the fringe, there is also a tendency to hold the iron too close to the scalp, burning the roots and the skin.
While using heat in any form on your hair, use a heat-protecting serum. Blow dry or iron your hair no more than twice a week. If you do various hair treatments regularly, pop a Vitamin E capsule daily.

» COLOUR
One month you feel blue, while during others you have blonde moments. Changing your hair colour to many shades lighter than the original one involves bleach, even if they don’t call it that. Just think of your hair as a canvas — colours show up better on white than black. Bleaching makes brownish-black Indian hair that requisite ‘white’ so that lighter colours can show up. Ammonia, or a replacement chemical, is needed to open the cuticles up for colour to seep in. Conditioners and serum then protect the cuticles. But repeated ‘opening and sealing’ of cuticles makes your hair weak. Also, mixing professional hair colour with self-application packs and vegetable dyes such as henna dries up the hair and makes it frizzy. Repeated touch-ups should be restricted only tothe new growth, even in case of streaks, where the norm is to re-do the length of the hair.
If you want to go for a global change of colour, do it only once a year.

» FACIALS
Skin cells have a natural cycle of 21 days. A facial involves scrubbing the dead cells off and if you undergo the process in a lesser span of time, you are interrupting the natural life cycle, scrubbing off cells that are not ‘dead’ yet. Restrict facials to once a month tolet cells live out their life cycle. Scrub your face weekly, but make sure the scrubbing granules are fine and the base cream is not thick. Bigger granules will scratch and scar your skin and the thick cream will clog the pores.

» PEDICURE
A sparkling pedicure may make your feet look great when you step out of the salon, but doing it more frequently than once a month could lead to ingrown, brittle nails.
The pedicure process involves clipping the corners of your toenails, buffing the nails and applying nail paint. Clipping the corner of the nails to prevent in-growth, in quick succession, just makes them dig in deeper as the clips alter the direction of growth. Doing it only once a month lets them grow in a natural, more elevated, direction. Buffing smoothens the nail’s surface by polishing away the upper layer. Doing it frequently strips away the moisture and layers, leaving nails brittle.
Nail polish is much more insidious. It suffocates nail beds and leaves behind build-up, which needs to be buffered away. Also, the removers dry the nails. Even if your nails are healthy, do not leave polish on for more than two-three days, and give them respite for two days before applying nail paint again. If your nails are brittle or yellow, don’t leave it on for more than a day — take it off at night and apply a fresh coat in the morning.

These Phases.....by Mohit Parikh

2012-01-23T10:19:00.001+05:30

These phases-
when the storyteller takes a back seat.

Why
when you dive into
the depths of your heart,
voluntarily
but empty of purpose,
word by word
a poem emerges?

And why
when it provides no answers
it gives a state of clarity?

http://hereismohit.blogspot.com/2010/06/in-these-phases-when-storyteller-takes.html

My Pen Gently Pukes....... striking lines by Mohit Parikh

2012-01-23T09:35:00.011+05:30

Don't own poems,
I am not a poet.
I don't try to rhyme
or beautify.
These things in my chest make me queasy sometimes.
So this what I do,
and this is how.

http://hereismohit.blogspot.com/2010/06/my-pen-gently-reeks.html

B's Had we not flown

2012-01-21T18:06:00.002+05:30

(had written this in November 2009)

Had we not flown

We would have never known

How the heart beats

To the tune of the feets

We laughed & cried

& took a pride

We loved and cared

Our every mare

In our brains we knew

Our chances were few

Yet we flew

With the wings so high

In the diamond sky

To live

& To give

& Dive in the ocean so wide

Nothing to hide

In the Love that we lied (slept)

Our chances were few

Yet we flew

With the wings so high

In the diamond sky

Love gave wings to both

so that we ping & doth

Wings so strong

That we never could be wrong

It hold us tight

With all its might

We got a bite

To live a light

The Ocean so vast

& The Wings so soft

Our emotions are True

Filled with Innocence So True

Had we thought

We could have never got

The Love that is hot

We never would have got a shot

From the Cupid's bow

To rise from the low

The Sweeter it Tastes

The Sweeter it Sounds

In all the Love

We are Drowned

In the Hearts of the Hearts

Lies a Soul

Which knows us both

Where we sit

& Eat the sweet

The Sweetest we have

The sweetest we are

The Loveliest we have

The Loveliest we are

Here lives a soul

That knows a Whole

Reaching its Goal

They gave the Toll

It took them a lot

But they paid the price

Now here they stand

With all their Pride!!

2012-01-17T14:13:00.001+05:30

B's I wonder Why....

2012-01-16T01:40:00.002+05:30

Had written these lines in November 2009
Accidentally came across it
so Archiving it

I know we haven't met
Yet we felt
& our hearts melt..
to the dancing tunes it dealt....

Lying on my bed
with pillow on my side
I wonder why
I wonder why
it never meant...
& the situations made us bent...

In my heart
the deepest i felt...
Every ventricle ready to fled...
Adrenaline pumping too high
as if i would fly
to my dearest love
and give him a bow & a hi...

I wonder why
I wonder why
It only reminds me of a line...
that seemed mine....
& longed of thine
spoke of mind
that carressed mine thine

i wonder why
i wonder why......

When Should You Sleep with Him?

2011-12-26T01:48:00.000+05:30

Finally, we get a straight answer. Relationship expert Ryan C. Browning, cofounder of TLC Partnership, says that doing the deed too soon can backfire.

Great chemistry is hard to come by, so when you meet a guy you click with, all you can think about is having sex with him. Problem number one: Once you give up the goods, you lose the upper hand in the dating power dynamics. See, sex creates a false sense of intimacy, so even if you were iffy about a guy, you'd suddenly crave a commitment. Now to problem number two: This guy might not be there yet, so while you want to move forward, he's locked in place. The situation can make you feel helpless because he's dictating how serious the relationship gets.

But let's backtrack. During the time before you have intercourse, he's fully under your spell. The longer you hold off, the more intrigued he'll become, allowing you to set the pace and control how things develop. That's why it's important to postpone sex for as long as you can -- I say at least a month. I know it's hard to resist when the attraction is so intense, but trust me, it'll pay off in the end. A few points to consider:

He actually wants you to say no.

In the beginning of the dating chase, men are looking to get laid, but they're also looking to make a connection. Even though he may turn on the charm, subtly (or not so subtly) pushing to get you into bed, the truth is, he'd rather you turn him down than give in. Yes, it's contradictory. Look, he obviously wants to have sex, but he loves a good challenge too, and the more he has to work for it, the more enticing the prize will be. If he likes you, he's subconsciously hoping you'll fend him off because it makes you more desirable. You've heard that anything worth having is worth waiting for. As long as you dangle the promise of sex in front of him, he'll be fixated on you.

The sex will be better.

Which brings me to my next point: The longer you have him in this holding pattern, the more fulfilling the sex will be when it happens. In addition to locking in his interest, you're also building up the anticipation of what's to come.

Let's be honest: First-time sex isn't always the greatest, but because you've been looking forward to it for so long, it'll seem more intense. Plus, since you waited to give it up until you felt completely comfortable with this guy (right?), you'll feel more in charge.

You'll trust your feelings.

It's no secret that hot sex can cloud your judgment. If you click sexually with a guy, you might overlook a lot of his flaws or inflate his good qualities in order to justify your reasons for sleeping with him in the first place.

When you wait to have intercourse though, it'll be with your eyes wide open. Since you've gotten a chance to get to know each other, you can trust that you're sleeping with him for the right reasons, not just because of some intense attraction. Coming to the decision on your own terms, at the right time, not only boosts your confidence, but it makes you feel more empowered in the relationship overall.

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/tips-moves/when-to-sleep-with-him

2011-12-26T01:33:00.001+05:30

You can make all the excuses in the world about "taking it slow", but people who are excited about each other rarely take it slow.

When Should a Woman Have Sex With a Man? Evan Marc Katz

2011-12-26T01:25:00.002+05:30

The end of Wednesday’s blog post brought up a very important topic; perhaps the most common question I get asked by women whenever I give a speech:

How do you know when it’s okay to sleep with a guy?

I discussed this back in March, but most of you weren’t reading then. So forgive me for recycling, but my views haven’t changed, and you definitely want to get in on this discussion…

No doubt about it: The first time a woman beds down with a guy she’s crazy about is an exciting and special time. Still, the question remains: When? Well, it depends. Some women are happy to get down to business the night they meet; others will wait weeks or months before doing the deed. Whatever a woman’s decision, we had to wonder: Does the double standard still exist today? In other words, if a woman knocks boots with a guy too soon, does she automatically nix her chances for long-term love—or is that old-fashioned nonsense in today’s modern-day dating scene? To find out, we grilled three women about the ups and downs of when they get down to business… andwhat they said may surprise you.

My two cents on the whole thing?

Men are sexual hypocrites. They push women for sex, then blame them for having sex. They’re particularly stuck on the idea that if a woman hops into bed with them quickly then she must have done this with lots of other men as well. This lowers her value in his eyes. After all, if everyone can have her, she can’t be all that special, can she?

Men are sexual hypocrites. They push women for sex, then blame them for having sex.

On the other hand, I also know from personal experience that if a guy is crazy about a girl, and they move really fast, all the rules go out the window. In fact, this is the way MOST of my relationships have started. But then, I’ve always been determined not to be hypocritical when a woman has the same lack of morals I do. I love women with loose morals.

The sex question is a popular one because it comes up in every dating situation. However, there’s no set timetable or finite number of dates that will let you know when it’s time to give it up. I know one woman who was told by an “expert” to wait 10 dates before sleeping with the man she was dating. The guy dumped her her after 7

That’s what you get for playing by a made-up set of rules. Sex isn’t something you “allow” him to do. It’s something that you share and create together. Turn sex into a reward for good behavior and time put-in and you’re missing the entire point.

As a woman, your job is not to come up with an arbitrary number of dates, like the U.S. coming up with a pull out date for our soldiers in Iraq. Your sole responsibility before having sex is to figure out if he’s interested in YOU or in SEX.

I repeat:Your sole responsibility before having sex is to figure out if he’s interested in YOU or in SEX.

If you don’t know the answer, don’t have sex. If you think you know the answer, then have sex. And if you can’t handle the emotional consequences of making an occasional mistake, you probably shouldn’t sleep with anyone until you’re in a committed relationship.

This has been my personal policy for the past three years – no committed relationship, no sex – and it’s worked very well for me.

http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/when-should-a-woman-have-sex-with-a-man/2/

Arrange marriage

2011-12-16T04:37:00.002+05:30

New avatars

"Nowadays, parents simply suggest the person they feel is suitable for their son or daughter. Only if their child approves (after interacting with him or her), do things move ahead. Also, children are now increasingly taking the initiative to find their own partners. The number of people putting up their profiles at matrimonial sites is a case in point. So, children are now 'arranging' their own marriages," says Sanjeev Sharma, 29, a software engineer currently in the 'marriage market', looking for a bride.

"By the new-age definition, an arranged marriage is just a 'set-up'. Parents introduce their children to each other, who meet and may even date for some time. Then, if and when they are ready, they get married," agrees Kamlesh Mathur, 27, a sales executive who has just joined the scene.

What are you looking for?

Who you will marry is one of the most important decisions you will make. Some questions that crop up include: What sort of a girl do I marry? Will she adjust to my family? How can I decide just by meeting her a few times? When should I marry? What if I make the wrong choice?

"Take a pen and paper and list the attributes you are looking for in a girl. For example, educational achievements, profession, appearance (looks, height, weight), etc. You might not find the 'perfect' girl, but you will have a fair idea of what you are looking for," says Sanjeev. "The key to choosing the right partner is to look for a person with a good character too, not simply a good personality," feels Kamlesh. Qualities to look out for include maturity and responsibility, a positive attitude toward life, commitment to the relationship, emotional openness, integrity and high self-esteem.

"Many men go for beauty when looking for a suitable bride. Sure, looks are important, but that should not be the most important criterion. Later on in life, it is her maturity and behaviour that will make all the difference," feels Sanjeev.

In arranged marriages, family support also plays a major role in ensuring a successful marriage. This is where compatibility of social status, family values and caste/religion may come in. "If she is going to live with your parents in a joint family set-up, it would be wise to take a few inputs from family members as well," advises Kamlesh.

Tell your parents

The selection process is tough on every one involved in it. In arranged marriages, the involvement of family and society is pretty high. Clearly define some minimum criteria for selection in terms of education, physical appearance, social status, family values, future career plans, etc., so your parents don't waste their time. "It would be unfair to meet a girl three to four times only to change your mind, as it can have repercussions for her too. You should have your criteria ready. Be clear about what you are looking for, so you meet fewer people," advises Jitesh Dwivedi, 28, a graphic designer who just finalised his match and will marry in December.

People often prefer partners from the same profession for better understanding. "For example, doctors sometimes prefer doctors for reasons that include being able to start a clinic together, etc. Also, the partner is better able to understand the working hours and professional difficulties. Thus, if you are looking for a specific match, convey it to your parents," says Dr. Bhaskar Gupta, 29, a pathologist who had an arranged marriage last year. "As I am over 6 feet tall and live abroad, my personal preference is someone fluent in English and at least 5'3" tall," adds Sanjeev.

Background research

It is important for you and/or your parents to check the educational and family background of a prospective partner. This can be done via a reference check, a visit to the workplace (or institute, if she's studying), through relatives, etc. The same process is used when the girl is abroad, but it is definitely more difficult. For one, a personal visit may not be possible and you have to rely on other sources for information. If you have friends/family abroad or living in proximity to the prospective bride, request them to meet her and check things out.

You can also perform an employer verification, check the visa status, request a medical test, etc. Also, communicate regularly through emails, phone, chat, etc. to know her better and get an insight into her lifestyle.

A meeting of minds

As we all know, it is difficult to judge a person based on a few meetings. How, then, do you select a life partner? "This is where you need to take additional help of other mediums of communication like phone, email, chat, etc. because it is sometimes possible to discuss issues more freely and actually get a better idea of the person through these mediums than in person," says Jitesh.

Whenever you do meet, relax and be yourself. Keep an open mind and don't hesitate to discuss important issues. Wear something that you look good and feel comfortable in. Try meeting away from the usual crowd of relatives, at some neutral place like a coffee shop, so you can interact without being influenced by others. Above all, trust your gut feeling.

Ask away!

Those days are long gone when youngsters getting married hardly knew anything about each other. Now you can ask just about anything and no one is supposed to take offence. "If you have questions that may seem uncomfortable but deal with the reality of today's social situation, or if you have doubts, by all means ask! Because NOT asking a question may ultimately prove to be a bigger mistake than asking," feels Dr. Bhaskar.

Here are some aspects that could be looked into once you get on familiar terrain.

General questions

Are you ready for marriage?
How would you describe yourself?
How do you like to spend your free time?
How do you feel about smoking and/or drinking?
What are you looking for in a spouse?
How much time do you need to decide?
What are your preferences, in terms of food?
What are your pet peeves?
How do you act when you get upset?
How do you feel about pets?
What is your family like?

Professional queries

What career path do you plan on taking?
How ambitious are you?
How much time do you spend at work?
How do you plan to balance work and family life?

Previous relationships

Today, a lot of young people may already have had a previous relationship. "Though having had a relationship is neither uncommon nor something to be ashamed of, people sometimes bring some 'baggage' -- emotional and / or health-related -- from the previous relationship. Of course, this applies to both men and women. Now, a woman should be equally cautious if a guy tells her he has had relationships previously, and should look for signs of any serious issues," feels Dr. Bhaskar.

"Yes, a relationship in the past would be a concern for me. But then, my opinion can't be generalised for all couples. It is a very individual thing," says Kamlesh. "It is difficult to say, as it is a case-specific issue," adds Sanjeev. "I feel there is nothing wrong with it if it is a thing of the past. What is more important is to be faithful to each other after marriage."

Medical check-up?

"Yes, you and your partner should get one. Everyone knows the significance of getting oneself tested in today's day and age, but the way you approach it involves a good amount of emotional maturity on the part of both," says Sanjeev.

"It's not as if you can't ask the girl to be tested, but there is a degree of reluctance in asking, as it is a very delicate situation and people may feel insulted if not outraged. However, if tactfully handled, most people would respond favourably, even if they voice initial doubts," says Dr. Bhaskar. "What you can do is tell the girl (and / or her parents) that, like you, they too are probably aware of the increasing incidence of HIV and may be experiencing some apprehension about it. Moreover, a blood test can also check for thalassemia and Rh factor. You can possibly both get tested at the same reliable clinic and then proceed with the marriage without any doubts," he advises.

It's your call

Do remember, all said and done, it is your marriage and your life that is at stake. After you get married, you and your wife are the ones who will face the music. Don't marry a girl just because your parents or friends asked you to do so. "Once you marry, if things don't work out and you end up saying, 'It's only because of my parents that I married you', then your marriage is destined for disaster," says Sanjeev.

Richa Pant

http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2006/nov/01arrange.htm

Irrational Thoughts About Marriage

2011-12-16T03:34:00.001+05:30

What is your idea of the perfect marriage? Do you envision a young couple walking along the beach at sunset holding hands? Do you picture your two favorite movie stars relaxing on a yacht in the Mediterranean? Do you picture a mom and a dad standing by the barbecue laughing together with a bunch of kids running around? Or do you imagine an older couple whose eyes still sparkle when they look at each other?

You may have a picture in your mind of what a relationship should be like. This image might be based on Hollywood movies, which can make your relationship seem dull by comparison. Or perhaps you read a book about a fiery romance and see your own partner as inadequate. You may also use other couples as role models, even though you know nothing about their private lives. You might aspire to these fantasy relationships, only to be disappointed when your partner doesn't measure up to your picture of the perfect relationship.

So what is a perfect marriage if it's not the fantasy image you've always thought it was? There are answers to this question, and we will provide them throughout this book. But you can start creating a perfect marriage right now by forgetting about your fantasies of the ideal relationship. You will be taking the first step toward becoming closer to your partner. These fantasies keep you stuck in the trap of pining away for a dreamlike partner who does not exist. It's very important to understand that a perfect marriage is not like the Hollywood image you see paraded in front of you every day.

Unrealistic Expectations

Unrealistic expectations of your spouse can keep you from fully appreciating your partner. If you're always thinking about what your spouse is not, how will you find the time and energy to notice his or her wonderful qualities? Unrealistic expectations are a less extreme version of the movie fantasies we just talked about.

Think Twice

Don't try to compare your mate to a character in a Hollywood movie. Those people aren't real! When the film's over, you have to cook dinner, pay the bills, and maybe put the kids to bed. Movie characters never have to face life's daily challenges.

The following are some common statements from people who have unrealistic expectations of their spouse:

“I wish my spouse were more handsome or beautiful.”

“I wish my spouse were wealthy.”

“I wish my spouse had unlimited time to spend with me.”

“I wish my spouse liked the same things that I do.”

“I wish my spouse agreed with me about everything.”

Soul Mates

The sooner you accept the fact that your spouse isn't perfect, the sooner you will be able to have an extraordinary marriage. Remember, you don't want your spouse to expect perfection from you, either.

If you want to have a fulfilling relationship, you must give up your unrealistic expectations of your partner. A spouse is usually not as handsome or beautiful as a movie star, or as wealthy. A realistic marriage involves two people with different opinions and different tastes, as well as different obligations outside of the relationship. Your differences will add to+B3 the richness of your partnership if you let them.

One of the best ways to get beyond your unrealistic expectations of your spouse is to focus on his or her good qualities. The following questions will help you bring out the best in your relationship.

Think Positive!Quiz

1. List your spouse's three greatest qualities.

a) ____________________________________________________________

b) ____________________________________________________________

c) ____________________________________________________________

2. What most attracted you to your spouse when you first met him or her?

______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

3. What do you like most about your spouse's sense of humor?

______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

4. Write down a description of the most romantic evening you ever spent with your spouse.

_______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________

5. What are some positive things people say about your spouse?

______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

Hold on to these wonderful images of your spouse. If your mind starts wandering to negative thoughts, turn back to this quiz and reread what you wrote.

2011-12-09T23:42:00.001+05:30

To be able to move on, one has to learn to forgive not only the person (or people) who have done one wrong but also oneself.
Eugenia Tripputi quotes

2011-12-09T23:39:00.001+05:30

Its a choice. You just have to decide that I'm not going to put my energy there. I'm going to decide to let this go. It's your choice. You can embrace it, you can become a prisoner of bitterness and resentment anger and victim city, or you can just say 'I'm going to live my life and be happy'.
Dr Phil quotes

2011-12-09T23:37:00.001+05:30

The hardest part of moving on is when you're going through every damn day, wishing it never happened. Stay strong!

2011-12-09T23:36:00.000+05:30

I'm done being sad over you. I have enough stress without you adding to it and I wont let you be the reason for my tears.

2011-12-09T23:35:00.000+05:30

Don't be surprised that when you finally realized that you care, you look behind... and I'm not there.

2011-12-09T23:34:00.000+05:30

It sucks when you know that you need to let go, but you can't, because you are still waiting for the impossible to happen.

2011-12-09T23:33:00.003+05:30

Wait for the days when I will forget who you are, when the taste of your name sounds old and worn. I wait for the days when I wont remember why I needed you so bad.

2011-12-09T23:33:00.001+05:30

I decided that enough is enough, that since you obviously dont care about me anymore Im just going to move on. Easier said than done I suppose, because at the end of the day Im staring out the window with these tears on my cheeks. Look what youve done to me.

2011-12-09T23:32:00.003+05:30

Dear Girl, I think its time for you to let go of him. He has hurt you and me too much. Just let the memories fade. Its time to leave him behind. I know itll be hard but its for the best, trust me. Remember, always follow your heart and everything will be fine. Love always, Your Heart.

2011-12-09T23:32:00.001+05:30

It may seem like the wrong thing to do but you have to forget about the guy who forgot about you.

2011-12-09T23:31:00.001+05:30

Move on. It is just a chapter in the past, but don't close the book- just turn the page.

2011-12-09T23:30:00.002+05:30

And I have come to realize that hes just a guy, a special one maybe, but hes not mine. And I dont need to do things to make him love me. If he wanted to he would.

2011-12-09T23:30:00.001+05:30

Let go when youre hurting too much, give up when love isnt enough, and move on when things arent like before. Surely there is someone out there who will love you more.

2011-12-09T23:29:00.002+05:30

I want to say I deserve better and mean it. I want to say I give up and believe it. I want to say Im moving on and do it.

2011-12-09T23:29:00.001+05:30

If he is dumb enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him go.

2011-12-09T23:28:00.001+05:30

I am not going to be that rebound girl, the girl you just come to when you want her, the girl who loves you with everything she has but yet you give nothing. Im not willing to be that girl anymore. Sorry, sweetie, but Im gone.

2011-12-09T23:27:00.001+05:30

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
Epicurus quotes (Greek philosopher, BC 341-270)

2011-12-09T23:26:00.001+05:30

“No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry”

2011-12-09T23:24:00.001+05:30

“When I saw you, I was afraid to meet you... When I met you, I was afraid to kiss you... When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you... Now that I love you, I'm afraid to lose you.”

2011-12-09T23:23:00.003+05:30

“I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because i know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you most when i lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with eachother;for those were some of the best times of my life.”

2011-12-09T23:23:00.001+05:30

“True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.”

2011-12-09T23:22:00.001+05:30

“A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go.”

2011-12-09T23:21:00.001+05:30

“Doubt can only be removed by action.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe quotes (German Playwright, Poet, Novelist and Dramatist. 1749-1832)

2011-12-09T23:20:00.003+05:30

“True Love burns the brightest, But the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.”

2011-12-09T23:20:00.001+05:30

“What is love? Love is when one person knows all of your secrets... your deepest, darkest, most dreadful secrets of which no one else in the world knows... and yet in the end, that one person does not think any less of you; even if the rest of the world does.”

2011-12-09T23:19:00.001+05:30

“Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.”
Dr. Joyce Brothers quotes (American Psychologist, Columnist and Author, b.1928)

2011-12-09T23:18:00.000+05:30

“When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman.” Spike to Buffy
nc01crod Joss Whedon quotes (American Screenwriter, Producer and Creator of the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Also known for Toy Story, Alien Resurrection, and Angel, b.1964)

2011-12-09T23:17:00.000+05:30

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.”
Washington Irving quotes (American Writer called the first American man of letters. Best known for the short stories The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Rip Van Winkle. 1783-1859)

2011-12-09T23:16:00.002+05:30

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
Swedish Proverb quotes

2011-12-09T23:16:00.001+05:30

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”
Walter Winchell quotes

2011-12-09T23:15:00.001+05:30

“People so seldom say I love you And then it's either too late or love goes. So when I tell you I love you, It doesn't mean I know you'll never go, Only that I wish you didn't have to.”

2011-12-09T23:14:00.002+05:30

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”

2011-12-09T23:14:00.001+05:30

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”

2011-12-09T23:13:00.002+05:30

“Yes I love him. I love him more than anything else in this world and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to him forever. But I know it's not for the best. So no matter how much my heart is going to break, I've got to let him go so he can know just how much I love him. Maybe if I'm lucky, he'll come back, but if not, I can make it through this.”

2011-12-09T23:13:00.001+05:30

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
derekjw203 Dr. Seuss quotes (American Writer and Cartoonist best known for his collection of children's books. 1904-1991)

2011-12-09T23:12:00.001+05:30

“A person's life is dyed with the color of his imagination.”
Marcus Aurelius Antonius quotes

2011-12-09T23:11:00.001+05:30

“He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair. die! When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot”

2011-12-09T23:10:00.000+05:30

“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers”
Voltaire quotes (French Philosopher and Writer. One of the greatest of all French authors, 1694-1778)

2011-12-09T23:09:00.002+05:30

“The eyes shout what the lips fear to say.”
William Henry quotes

2011-12-09T23:09:00.001+05:30

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”
john7 Catherine Ponder quotes

2011-12-09T23:08:00.001+05:30

“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over.”

2011-12-09T23:06:00.001+05:30

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

skrehmani

Neil Gaiman quotes (English born American Novelist, Journalist, Screenwriter, Children's authorand Comics writer of American Gods, amongst many others, b.1960)

2011-12-09T23:05:00.003+05:30

“You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.”

2011-12-09T23:05:00.001+05:30

“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.”
santiz Dr. Seuss quotes (American Writer and Cartoonist best known for his collection of children's books.1904-1991)

2011-12-09T23:04:00.001+05:30

“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

lynnie_buttercup

David Harkins quotes (British Poet and Painter b.1958)

2011-12-09T23:03:00.001+05:30

“Music is what feelings sound like.”

2011-12-09T23:02:00.003+05:30

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
Robert McCloskey quotes

2011-12-09T23:02:00.001+05:30

“Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.”
William James quotes (American Philosopher and Psychologist, leader of the philosophical movement of Pragmatism, 1842-1910)

2011-12-09T23:01:00.004+05:30

“Tears are words the heart can't express”

2011-12-09T23:01:00.003+05:30

“If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”

2011-12-09T23:01:00.001+05:30

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”
Judy Garland quotes

2011-12-09T23:00:00.002+05:30

“I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”

2011-12-09T23:00:00.001+05:30

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

2011-12-09T22:59:00.002+05:30

“Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.”

2011-12-09T22:59:00.001+05:30

“Moving on, is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard.”
Dave Mustaine quotes

Jerks who Fuck with Your Mind...Part 3 http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/manipulator/manipulator.shtml

2011-12-03T01:40:00.003+05:30

6.) He rationalizes his power-tripping as "altruistic"

Manipulators love to power trip. While they rationalize their behavior as altruism, the real reason these guys "help" others is because they get off on the sense of control that it gives them. There is also the added bonus of being able to sprinkle references about your good works in casual conversations. Many manipulators are on a mission (which borders on the evangelical) to "help" other people, even if those people don't want or appreciate the help. A manipulator is the kind of person who will make an unprovoked attack on someone's beliefs, couched in sarcasm, and then justify his behavior by saying that he was "just encouraging them to think more deeply about their convictions."

To which I say: "What the hell gives YOU the right?!"

7.) He can't handle you disagreeing with him.

If you disagree with something he says, or some opinion he holds, (and especially if you strongly disagree), he'll imply that you obviously must have some hangups about the subject matter, because it certainly couldn't have been what he said or how he said it that was the problem. He'll even go on to suggest that your problem is REALLY one of being a control freak, and that you evidently cannot handle someone not being moved over to YOUR opinions. The manipulator is a skilled wordsmith, and headgames are his forte.

8.) He asks for your opinion so he can shoot it down.

A favorite ploy of manipulators is the pretense of interest in your point of view, ideas, or solutions to problems. But a manipulator really isn't interested in learning or adopting new ideas you might have. You will also notice that he rarely asks about you, or shows much interest in what is happening in your life. If a manipulator asks you for your ideas, it's so that he can shoot them down.

9.) He deflects any responsibility for the effects of his statements.

While we are all responsible for ourselves and our feelings, we cannot deny our own responsibility in contributing to a relationship. All parties involved in a relationship bear the responsibility of making it work. If there are problems, the manipulator will insist that his actions have not impacted the relationship in any negative way.

To this end, the manipulator has all kinds of verbal tools for deflecting criticism. Any misunderstandings are always YOUR fault for choosing to perceive his actions/words the way you did.... If you're really lucky he may even go so far as to accuse you of "trying to change him", or pressure him to "stop being himself". (My response to that is: "I wouldn't DREAM of trying to change you. You can stay EXACTLY the way you are, just so long as it's FAR away from me!")

If he's on a roll, he'll accuse you of "personally attacking" him when you tell him what you find painful or unkind in his behavior. He will play all sorts of word games, in order to twist the perception, such that it looks like YOU are personally attacking him. For instance, if you tell him that you perceive one of his statements to be belittling and/or demeaning, he will insist:

that was not his intention,
that you are projecting your own interpretations on his actions,
that you are trying to tell him WHAT he was thinking and intending,
and based on all that, your comments are a personal attack on him.
QED.

Nice little ploy there, eh? He twists your statement about your feelings around to be, "because you feel it, you are implying I must have intended it, and because I didn't intend it, it means you are attacking me."
Bleah. If you run into this kind of thing, don't waste your breath trying to get him to understand, because this kind of person is not open to accepting your feelings as valid. Just turn and walk away.

10.) He never REALLY apologizes.

The manipulator can never truly admit he is wrong. At best, he will suggest you "agree to disagree". If he DOES apologize, it's a back-handed apology, that usually has a "but" in it:

"I'm sorry that you were upset about my not attending the party, -BUT- I had alot on my mind that day. You should have reminded me."

Notice the careful phrasing? Notice that there is NO acceptance for any responsibilty in the statement? Notice how the onus of responsibility for his non-attendance has been shifted to YOU?

A non-manipulator would likely have said something like:

"Damn. I screwed up. I'm sorry I missed that party. I know it was important to you. Next time, I'm going to have to write it down on BOTH HANDS..."

What to do when you come across a Manipulator

If you spend too much time with a manipulator, and your self-esteem is at all on shaky ground, his comments will eat away at your self-confidence. He'll talk the talk about wanting you to be self-confident and independent, but he'll undermine it with subtle and twisted contradictory statements, and even warp his body language such that it doesn't match his words. In a "relationship" we tend to trust, and CARE about what our partner's think about us, so a relationship with a manipulator can be deadly to a woman's sense of self. (Unless you have reached the pinnacle of Heartless Bitchiness, and you don't require validation from anything or anyone other than yourself.)

If someone you know is pulling stunts like those mentioned here, ditch the asshole, FAST. Because if you don't, the next thing you know, he'll be trying to suck you back in by saying that YOU are avoiding responsiblity for your actions and feelings by walking away from him. This is just oh so much CRAP. Despite what he says, "not responding" any further to him, and exiting (stage left), is VERY responsible of you. You are taking control of your life and your emotional well-being by actively dropping a severely stressful situation into the dusty bin of old memories (and minor scars) where it aptly belongs...

2011-12-02T01:18:00.000+05:30

If you will call your troubles experiences, and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you, you will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your circumstances may seem to be.
John Heywood

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2011-12-02T01:10:00.001+05:30

We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within.
Earl Nightingale

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2011-12-02T01:02:00.000+05:30

To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.
Bruce Lee

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2011-12-02T01:00:00.001+05:30

The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can't find them, make them.
George Bernard Shaw

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2011-12-02T00:57:00.000+05:30

The concept of romantic love affords a means of emotional manipulation which the male is free to exploit, since love is the only circumstance in which the female is (ideologically) pardoned for sexual activity.
Kate Millett

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2011-12-02T00:54:00.001+05:30

People think that because a novel's invented, it isn't true. Exactly the reverse is the case. Biography and memoirs can never be wholly true, since they cannot include every conceivable circumstance of what happened. The novel can do that.
Anthony Powell

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2011-12-02T00:52:00.000+05:30

Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.
Mohandas Gandhi

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2011-12-02T00:48:00.001+05:30

In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud: Under the bludgeoning of chance my head is bloody, but unbowed.
William Ernest Henley

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2011-12-02T00:47:00.003+05:30

I am what time, circumstance, history, have made of me, certainly, but I am also, much more than that. So are we all.
James A. Baldwin

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2011-12-02T00:47:00.001+05:30

I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.
Martha Washington

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2011-12-02T00:46:00.001+05:30

Don't wait for extraordinary circumstance to do good; try to use ordinary situations.
Charles Richter

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2011-12-02T00:44:00.002+05:30

Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
Miguel Angel Ruiz

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2011-12-02T00:44:00.001+05:30

A child too, can never grasp the fact that the same mother who cooks so well, is so concerned about his cough, and helps so kindly with his homework, in some circumstance has no more feeling than a wall of his hidden inner world.
Alice Duer Miller

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2011-11-29T14:57:00.000+05:30

Acceptance of one's life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices.
Paul Tournier

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2011-11-29T14:56:00.000+05:30

“The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are, and not who people think you are.”

Goldie Hawn quotes (American Actress. b.1945,Washington, District of Columbia, USA)

2011-11-29T14:54:00.000+05:30

“Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgement of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it.”

Kathleen Casey Theisen quotes

2011-11-29T14:53:00.001+05:30

“I would not look upon anger as something foreign to me that I have to fight...I have to deal with my anger with care, with love, with tenderness, with nonviolence.”

Thich Nhat Hanh quotes (Vietnamese Monk, Activist and Writer. b.1926)

2011-11-29T14:51:00.001+05:30

“Why do you stay in prison
when the door is so wide open?

Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking.
Live in silence.”

Jalal ad-Din Rumi quotes (Persian Poet and Mystic, 1207-1273)

2011-11-29T14:49:00.000+05:30

“The art of acceptance is the art of making someone who has just done you a small favor wish that he might have done you a greater one.”
Martin Luther King, Jr. quotes (American Baptist Minister and Civil-Rights Leader. 1929-1968)

2011-11-29T14:46:00.002+05:30

“Some people confuse acceptance with apathy, but there's all the difference in the world. Apathy fails to distinguish between what can and what cannot be helped; acceptance makes that distinction. Apathy paralyzes the will-to-action; acceptance frees it by relieving it of impossible burdens.”

Arthur Gordon quotes

2011-11-29T14:44:00.001+05:30

“I hope some day to make you all a cup of coffee. Alright, peace.”

Johnny Depp quotes (American film Actor. b.1963 Owensboro, Kentucky, USA)

2011-11-29T14:43:00.003+05:30

“Deep down even the most hardened criminal is starving for the same thing that motivates the innocent baby: Love and acceptance”
Lily Fairchilde quotes

2011-11-29T14:43:00.001+05:30

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.”
littlestarling Jalal ad-Din Rumi quotes (Persian Poet and Mystic, 1207-1273)

2011-11-29T14:38:00.002+05:30

“As you become more clear about who you really are, you'll be better able to decide what is best for you - the first time around.”
Oprah Winfrey quotes (American television personality,Actress and Producer, b.1954)

2011-11-29T14:37:00.002+05:30

“There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:
This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.
When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.”
Copyright © 2000 Stacey Charter

Stacey Charter quotes

2011-11-29T14:36:00.002+05:30

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”

2011-11-29T14:35:00.001+05:30

"Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.”
Fulton Oursler quotes

2011-11-29T14:34:00.001+05:30

When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others

2011-11-29T14:33:00.003+05:30

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections

2011-11-11T15:11:00.001+05:30

We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness.
Albert Schweitzer

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2011-11-11T15:09:00.001+05:30

The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness.
Norman Cousins

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2011-11-11T15:07:00.001+05:30

Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives.
Bertrand Russell

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